November 26, 2008

a little help here?

So I called the doctor to schedule an appointment, assuming that they would clear their books for me and demand to see me in the next 24 hours. Instead, my name, phone number, and the start date of my last period were recorded by the receptionist; and I was told to expect a call from the office scheduler in the next few days, or at least by Monday. Hello? Perhaps you didn't hear me... I'm having a BABY! Clearly, I'm not the first woman to perform such a task, but seriously.

Oh, and then the nice lady said that everything should be fine, as long as there was a doctor available in the month of my due date. WHAT? Are you suggesting that I might have to call around to other doctors to schedule my birthing? It's not like I want tickets to see the Jonas Brothers or something...

But Deanna, the giver of appointments and assigner of doctors called me back right away. She checked some things in her book, and said that there were three doctors available in July, when this is all supposed to go down. Of course, my scientifically calculated due date is actually July 29th, which means this thing probably isn't going anywhere until August sometime, and the doctor probably won't be around any more then, such is my luck.

Then Deanna says that I can come in to see the doctor at the eleven week mark, aka the FIRST WEEK OF JANUARY! Until then, I'm apparently just supposed to hang out and not do anything that might make me get un-pregnant, like crack or skydiving.

Honestly, I really thought that maybe there would be a little introductory visit, where they give me a pamphlet and a pack of prenatal vitamins, and tell me not to eat sushi or drink or smoke. Instead, I got the phone call equivalent of a pat on the butt and a hearty "go-get-em tiger" from the coach. Even when I asked her if there was anything I should, you know, do between now and then, she was just like "oh, prenatal vitamins would be nifty". Hmm. Okay.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is: thank god for the internet and half-price books!