November 24, 2008

Oh Baby.

It's been 2 days since I found out the wife is pregnant. I think it's fair to say that I will be freaking out for a while.

This was not expected. We were not trying. We had talked about it, but my "not feeling ready yet" had won out over her "other people dumber then us have pulled it off." The conversation had been postponed until March (an arbitrary date). Of course, that conversation had been replaced with another similar conversation about cute puppies. I can happily report, that conversation has now ended...temporarily.

So we're going to be parents. Everything I was concerned about on Friday no longer has a place in my mind. Any stops in my though process prompt a flood of overwhelming concern. What is wife going to be doing for work in 3, 6, 9, 12, 16 months? Where is health care and funding going to come from for wife and baby? How are we going to afford all the things the baby is going to need? Who is going to care for the little one when wife goes back to work? And wife is going to need to go back to work cause I can't support us all. Should I sell everything in the house so I can pay off some debt?

If this everlasting panic isn't enough, I know very little about raising these tiny people. I believe in being prepared for stuff which is one of the reasons I didn't want to have a baby yet. I own a lot of survivalist books. I'm ready if the world ends. . I'm ready for living in the woods, mountains, and desert. I'm ready for driving off a road in to a river. I'm ready for most situations that I will never have to encounter, but I am not ready for sleep deprivation, constant feeding, crying, pooping, peeing and caring of a little one. So we made a trip to half priced books. Here is what we picked up.

The Baby Owner's Manual. A women in Half Priced Books said if we were expecting that her husband loved this book. It refers to the baby like a computer model and I have to tell ya, it kind of takes the edge off. It's like a quick reference guide for all things baby. Pretty good so far.

The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy. I told my Assistant General Manager that my wife was reading what to expect when you're expecting and a few weeks ago and she said it was an awful book and she should read this we picked it up. Wife is reading it now and I'll let you know what she says about it. I'll probably read it after her so I'll give you my 2 cents as well.

Hopefully these books will help me feel more prepared for this whole thing, and I think this blog is going to be a large outlet for my preparedness rantings so be prepared... And lets all cross our fingers for a book deal. I am aware most people try to avoid talking about this stuff in the first Trimester because so much can go wrong, but just because we aren't supposed to talk about it doesn't mean I'm not freaking the fuck out. So I am going to blog and if something goes wrong, we're just going to deal.