April 22, 2009

it's not you, it's me.

Monday is my next, and most likely final, visit to my current OB. We're breaking up so Gus and I can start seeing the midwife we met with yesterday in preparation for our new home birthing plan.

I'm excited for this new start, but also a little nervous too. Breaking up is hard! Especially when the person hasn't done anything wrong, like our lovely doctor. She's a sweet lady, we just want different things. I'm really hoping that she'll be understanding and wish us well on our new path, not all "alarmed and alarmist" as our midwife warned that she might be. 

We believe that we know and understand the "risks" of not delivering in the hospital, and we have to be prepared for the fact that many people may not support our choice. That doesn't make the prospect of Monday's visit any nicer, however.

Our new plan involves the support of Seattle Home Maternity Service and the team of midwives there. From the moment I called last week to schedule a consultation, I've been impressed by the kindness and helpfulness of the entire staff. It just feels a lot more personal and natural than our OB experience has been, and I'm hopeful that it will only get better from here as we get to know one another better.

There's still a lingering part of me that thinks that the whole concept of delivering at home is still just a little bit weird, but when I think of how much more comfortable and in control of the whole process I will feel, I know that it will be the right choice for us. 

Of course, there is still a chance that we could end up being transferred to deliver in the hospital if it is deemed necessary, but I feel better knowing that if that does happen, we'll be transferred to a place that is supportive of midwife involvement and shares our views of the importance of a natural and drug-free labor and birth.

The next few months are going to be full of learning and preparation in a whole new way now. We're also signed up for a class in the Bradley Method of natural childbirth that begins at the end of May and will take us right up to a few days before our due date. I'm really hoping that we'll be able to finish the series before Junior makes an appearance, but I guess only time will tell!

Whatever happens, it should prove to be an exciting time!