May 22, 2012

I-Spy

I'm convinced now that those I-Spy books must have been invented by a mom, who found herself inspired one day by the big ol' pile of crap she dumped from her handbag onto the floor:


I spy, in no particular order:

  1. One wallet.
  2. One toddler fork and one toddler spoon.
  3. Six assorted pens, 1.5 pencils. Don't bother asking to borrow a writing implement, however, as I'm confident that I would never be able to find you one.
  4. One tape measure.
  5. One (me-made) brown zip pouch. Stuffed to the gills with Advil, hair ties, cosmetics, Band-aids, pens (yes- more!), feminine hygiene products, etc. 
  6. Two eyeglass cases. Both naturally devoid of actual eyeglasses. Duh.
  7. One lip gloss (organic, strawberry). One Carmex click-stick. No fewer than three more lip treatments live in the aforementioned brown pouch.
  8. One fabric scrap.
  9. One pack of gum.
  10. One tin of ObamaMints (yes we CANdy).
  11. One hair tie.
  12. One Covergirl pressed powder compact. Possibly probably broken into a million-billion pieces.
  13. One receipt.
  14. One Babies 'R Us shopping membership card. Two kids and one million "no thank you's" later, they finally convinced me to just accept the damn thing.
  15. Three travel-size tissue packs.
  16. One toddler sock, unworn. To me, this is perhaps the most perplexing item in the mix. Why? Wha? Oh- nevermind.
  17. Two binder clips.
  18. One paperclip.
  19. One DSW postcard advertisement with a coupon for a free tote bag. I will not redeem this, nor would I ever carry the bag even if I did. But I had to put it in there, justincase- you know?
  20. One notebook to record my brilliant ideas for posterity. 
  21. A handful of panty-liners.
  22. A couple more panty-liners.
  23. Two business cards: one from small business development consultant guy and one from commercial real estate guy. I have a dream, yo.
  24. One atomizer of Poo-Pourri.
  25. One empty credit union ATM deposit envelope.
  26. One (possibly expired) coupon for Shredded Wheat. 
  27. Two (absolutely expired) JoAnn sale flyers. In a true money-saving coup, I managed to get on the mailing list twice. I just laugh maniacally to myself when I hear the ladies in line ahead of me say that they signed up a few months ago, but the coupons never come... mwahaha! I have them ALL!!
  28. One badge from the best burger joint in the area.
  29. One half-eaten roll of Tums.
  30. One envelope full of coupons, shopping lists.
  31. One (relatively) small pile of garbage, dirt, crumbs.

Sadly, I did not invent a million-dollar book/game/puzzle enterprise via this exercise. I did, however, score a brand-new super cute (blue) leather handbag at the thrift store for $15. That'll have to do.

What's in your bag?